Dear Dr Timperley,

 

As requested, here is your Build Your Own Author’s Bio. Invoice to follow.

 

Regards,

The Write Stuff plc.

 

(Detach Here)

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

I'’m [insert name or alias], born on [insert approximate date of birth] in [a Transylvanian castle / an Indian ashram / a Croydon bus shelter – delete as applicable for intended audience]. Over the years I’ve done various jobs including [amateur psychiatrist / mortuary stunt double / inflatable dartboard salesman – delete as applicable] but am now a part-time [man of mystery / carbon-based lifeform / invisible friend – probably best to leave all these in]. I turned to writing fiction having been motivated by [my cellmate / Jeffrey Archer – delete one unless both apply] and time in [detox / denial / Broadmoor Hospital – only leave all of these in for amateur psychiatrist, above].

 

[Copy and paste pretentious guff from the internet about writing here].

 

My fiction has been published by [insert plausible-sounding publishing company name]  and has won [insert fiction(al) writing competitions]. I am currently writing [my next trilogy / ransom notes / “Mein Kampf, The Musical” – delete as applicable].